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Written by Rokstar
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Friday, 31 October 2008 11:01 |
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I had recently heard that you can tell if you are dealing with pride if most of the sentences that you say contain the word "I". That is so funny, because when I found that out, I stopped saying "I" and would then just talk about "me". How’s that for self- improvement! I don’t even know that when it comes down to it, if I really want it not to be about me. I want to be able to say that I don’t want it to be about me, but probably only out of pride and not actually the desire to do the right thing. It’s not that I am staring at myself in the mirror all day stroking my hair, I am just self- focused. What do I want, what do I need, I am tired, I need a break, I want more, I am going to do this today, I don’t have time for that… My brain is full of an endless string of I’s. Even when it is about helping others, it is about ME helping others. I (there’s that word again) feel utterly hopeless. I can’t escape me.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 07 April 2009 18:00 |
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Crazy Sin and Second Chances |
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Written by Rokstar
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Tuesday, 28 October 2008 15:03 |
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I can clearly recall a night in August 2005, late at night, having a very interesting conversation with my husband. I remember telling him that I wish that our entire lives could change in an instant and that God would just give us a chance to start over our lives in a new place and a different situation. These thoughts and desires had come from a need to escape the situation I was in. After 10 years of being a Christian and about 9 years of that in the ministry, I had fallen away from God. I had compromised in many ways, gotten a divorce and quickly remarried to the man I had been involved with. After publicly being labeled as "backslidden" and "in sin", I was shunned by many people in the small town I was living in. I believe that many of the people that rejected me were justified, because I had betrayed them and God. I could hardly live with the guilt myself and many people fell away after I did, compounding the pain.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 05 May 2009 08:27 |
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But I Have Cheerios on the Floor! |
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Written by Rokstar
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Thursday, 23 October 2008 12:27 |
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Today is one of those days that I have decided to take it easy. I have been running all week and my house is kind of messy. I decided to let my one year old sit on the floor with a bowl of dry cereal to keep him occupied while I got some work done. My 4 year old was eating breakfast directly in front of the t.v. (just like all those magazines tell you that you should never do). I don't try to break all of the rules of what a perfect mother should do at once, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I haven't gotten to my hair yet today, which is a mess, twisted and stuck up in a bobby pin just to keep it out of my face. I have been busy all morning and have been generally satisfied at my progress. There is still laundry everywhere, cheerios on the floor, etc., but I am getting it done. Well, all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.
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Last Updated on Thursday, 30 October 2008 23:06 |
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Written by Rokstar
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Monday, 20 October 2008 09:09 |
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I was once a youth pastor. A paid youth pastor. I would preach when I wanted to and minister freely and then I would preach when I didn't feel like it and minister when I wanted to just be left alone. The job received payment in the form of a check, so I was willing to do it, even when I didn't want to. In the end, I was benefitted, so it was easier to do what I was doing. Now, I am unpaid.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 07 April 2009 18:13 |
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Written by Rokstar
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Friday, 10 October 2008 12:11 |
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The Bible tells us many times that we will have to face trials. It seems like when we recognize that we have encountered a trial such as a bad report from the doctor, a job loss, or any other circumstance that seems to blindside us, that who we are as Christians rises up and proclaims God's plan. When we clearly see an attack of the enemy, we begin to fight back. It is a natural reaction. It's as if a war was declared against us and we draw our sword to defend ourselves and our homes. We realize that it is a matter of survival.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 07 April 2009 18:21 |
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Written by Rokstar
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Thursday, 09 October 2008 09:34 |
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I find myself constantly chasing after the glitter of this world. It may be an idea of how I would like my life to be or something I wish to have that would make my life better or easier. Most of these ideas I have are rooted in the ways of the world and my flesh. We look at magazines and Hollywood and we see images of beauty and a desirable life when what lies behind those things is not beautiful at all. It would be like painting a beautiful picture onto a garbage dumpster. The outside is beautiful but it is still a dumpster. Eventually the odor of the dumpster will outweigh the beauty of the painting and no one will want to be near it at all. God desires true beauty.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 07 April 2009 18:39 |
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